Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
