Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
