my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I understand Curling. That high.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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