whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
