How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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