why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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