I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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