Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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