This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
