I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
