He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
