Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize