went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
