if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize