sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
