i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
