Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ketchup is God's man juice
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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