Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
