do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize