Need sex. Gaining weight.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
