she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
