Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
