It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize