If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
