He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
