sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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