At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
