He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
