omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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