To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
