Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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