it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
