paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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