Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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