He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
