Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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