she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
