WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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