apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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