I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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