True but thats because hes a fetus.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
