She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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