remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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