Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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