Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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