I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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