You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
