We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
