i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
