this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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