whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
