Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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