Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
