a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
