if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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