My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
