Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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