I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
