the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Sober January is a disaster.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
