can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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