Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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